Dietary Dichotomy: Rules vs Flexibility

Within my own Nutritional Therapy practice, and others I know, there is a striking dichotomy evident between people that find rules more helpful and those that find flexibility preferable. 

Imagine, if you possibly can, that you enjoy chocolate candy bars and you also have a body composition goal to reduce your bodyfat. What is the best approach?

❌No chocolate candy, ever? 🍫

The rule offers simplicity and certainty. It spares you from the tyranny of decision-making. It eliminates doubt and enables consistency. 

It also binds you. It stifles spontaneity. It might deny you some shared experiences with friends & family. It might trigger anxiety and unhealthy behaviours and thoughts. 

✅Chocolate candy, sometimes? 🍫

This approach gives you flexibility. It does not oppress you. It respects your capacity to balance consistency with freedom. 

It also means on any given day, any given hour, you could have chocolate candy. 

What does a balanced approach actually look like? How do you choose? If you have decision fatigue at the end of a day or a terrible time at work or something similar, will this likely result in you making a choice that pleases you in the moment but does not support your goals? If yes, what next? Does the departure from your intentions undermine your confidence and commitment?

Rules vs Flexibility in practice

I am yet to discover a way to know what will work best for a person up front. Asking works well of course and some people do have the insight and self-awareness to know.

For others, I find a helpful approach is to:

1. Create a shared awareness of this dichotomy

2. Start out with flexibility

3. Plan a review

4. Reflect, and assess whether the flexible approach is a good fit for your personality, goals, support and environment

5. Continue with flexibility if it is a good fit and if not, replace it with a rule (and then repeat steps 3-4)

When I am working 1:1 with a client, I emphasise up front that I am not usually going to tell them they cannot have X or Y foods. I am not going to 'take things away'. Instead, I will make suggestions for things that will enhance their dietary quality, their digestion, align with their goals, relieve or eliminate their symptoms, whilst also considering pleasure, enjoyment and the social purpose of sharing meals. Sometimes though, clear, specific instructions from someone they trust as an expert is exactly what they do want, and having established this, I will become more instructive.

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